With the price of yogurt being what it is, I decided to try my hand at making our own yogurt. I researched recipes and ideas and found a few sites that made it sound so easy. Even a moron can make it! Really? could you send the moron to my house because my last four attempts ended in sour milk. I was afraid to use it for anything.
Yogurt Flop #1
The idea behind it was that you heat milk to a certain temp, which I did. Then cool it down to a certain temp, which I also did. Then add a plain yogurt with live “cultures” (read as bacteria, MWAHAHAHAHA!) in it and stir. Put it in a crockpot with the lid on and cover with a heavy towel. Leave it for however many hours and VOILA! You have… sour milk? WTF?
Yogurt Flop #2
So I tried it again, this time I used the crockpot. Apparently I am an idiot when it comes to yogurt making. My next batch needed to be heated in the crockpot for however many hours, which I did. Stir in the yogurt again, which I did and then wrap it in a heavy towel. This time I wrapped it in two towels and then let it sit overnight. when I opened the crockpot the next morning, I was really hopeful because it kind of looked like yogurt (but not really). I went to stir it and it was rather soupy and smelled like rotting… something. Ew. It was GROSS!
Yogurt Flop #3 and #4… I give up!
My two batches went about the same. Flop and FLOP! One of them I actually was afraid to do anything with. Is yogurt supposed to foam? I don’t think so. Anyway, I poured it down the sink too and hoped it wouldn’t eat through my sink or the pipes. It didn’t.
I finally gave up on making yogurt and decided to try something equally scary. Making cottage cheese! The idea is that you buy a quart of buttermilk in a certain type of carton. I bought the only one I could find and hoped for the best. Then you boil it in a pot of water (still in the closed carton) for 30 minutes. Remove from the heat, cover and let sit overnight.
I’ll be honest, the smell was, uhm, well… fragrant. Let’s just put it that way. I was really worried. The kids thought I had lost my mind and my few friends that came over swore off ever eating at my house again.
The next afternoon (I totally forgot I was making cottage cheese!) I opened the carton, gagged and then poured it into a drainer lined with cheese cloth. I let it drain for awhile. I wasn’t sure what it should look like so I just waited until it didn’t look totally scary. Then I dumped it into an empty, cleaned cottage cheese container.
Okay, so it didn’t LOOK like cottage cheese and I spent nearly a half hour trying to convince my kids to try it first. I ended up with the short straw and went first. It wasn’t bad at all. Actually, it was the best cottage cheese I have had in awhile since we moved from Tennessee and I can’t get Mayfield’s dairy products anymore. My oldest son was like “Oh hell no I am not trying it! I know that trick!” That’s where I eat something and pretend it’s delicious until he takes a bit… then I spit it out because it actually is putrid.
I eventually convinced him to try it. He liked it too! It was more like a super soft cheese spread than cottage cheese but the flavor was awesome.
I’ll have to keep attempting to make yogurt. I’ll let you know if I ever succeed.