My friend, K**, saw that I was slacking on my blog and sent me a fun questionnaire to fill out and post. It’s 100 questions long. Here it goes…
Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
I don’t have a closet
Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
No. I am no-pooing it.
Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
I don’t use sheets. They make my skin crawl.
Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
LOL, there was this time that… Wait… Does my local police department read this blog?
Do you like to use post-it notes?
OMG! YES! My desk looks like a piñata!
Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
All. The. Time!
Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Bees, I would be dead. Bear… I would still be dead. So… BEES! Because I would die faster.
Do you have freckles?
Do you always smile for pictures?
Sometimes. Depends on the picture
What is your biggest pet peeve?
I can only pick one? Okay… People who argue over stupid stuff.
Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
Only when doing walking meditation.
Have you ever peed in the woods?
Yes. Yes I have. Several times. Okay, HUNDREDS of times. We lived in the country. Leave me alone.
What about pooped in the woods?
Yes. I have. We lived in the freaking woods… what was I supposed to do? Hold it until we went to the store.
Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?
You mean you can dance WITH music playing? I have got to try this!
Do you chew your pens and pencils?
You bet! That’s called thinking juice!
How many people have you slept with this week?
Zero. Unless you count the GYN check up. Then… Yea, no.
What size is your bed?
Couch or chair.
What is your Song of the week?
All my family thinks I’m gay… Bo Burnham!
Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Well, yea. That was a silly question.
Do you still watch cartoons?
No. I don’t watch much of anything anymore.
What’s your least favorite movie?
Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
If I told you all, it wouldn’t be secret, then when I die, everyone would find it in, like, a day and all my fun would be over.
What do you drink with dinner?
Wine. Blackberry wine is my favorite. But if someone wants to buy me a bottle of Bitch wine, I would be SO HAPPY!
What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
The trash can… I don’t eat chicken nuggets.
What is your favorite food?
Weird stuff that makes people gag.
What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
None of them. I would get sick of the movie after round 2.
Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Do my kids count for this? Cuz if you’re asking about a man… I haven’t had any in YEARS. (Pssst, I’m available)
Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
I got kicked out of Girl Scouts. Does that count?
Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
If they paid me enough, SURE!
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Uhm, it’s been YEARS.
Can you change the oil on a car?
Yes I can because I am AWESOME like that.
Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Yup. I was flying low through Emporia, Virginia. The cop was really nice though.
Ran out of gas?
Oh yes. Story of my life.
Favorite kind of sandwich?
OH! I love chicken wraps with avocado and Annie’s Roasted Red Pepper dressing. THE BEST!
Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Coffee. Oh! You said “eat”. Uhm, coffee beans.
What is your usual bedtime?
Between 2 and 5 in the morning.
Are you lazy?
No. I am motivationally challenged.
When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
What? Like every year? You want me to remember that far back?
What is your Chinese astrological sign?
How the hell am I supposed to know that? Hold on… Google says “Rabbit”.
How many languages can you speak?
English, Pirate, Sarcasm, Profanity and some ASL
Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
No. But I do like buying National Geographic.
Which are better Legos or Lincoln logs?
Legos! By far!
Are you stubborn?
Very. When I want to be.
Who is better…Leno or Letterman?
Leno. HAHAHAHAHA! I love that guy!
Ever watch soap operas?
Oh gawd NO!
Afraid of heights?
Sing in the car?
All the time!
Dance in the shower?
Are you kidding me? I’d slip and crack my head open.
Dance in the car?
Really??? HOW!? No really, tell me h… okay, yes, I do. They call it the “Dotchi Dance”.
Ever used a gun?
Sure have! Hand gun, revolver, .303 British Enfield and .22 rifle.
Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Oh, way back in, like… 2002 or something like that.
Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Some of them. But I love them for it.
Is Christmas stressful?
I hate that whole month. It sucks. I wouldn’t have the holiday but my youngest son celebrates it.
Ever eat a pierogi?
YES! I love those. SO delicious!
Favorite type of fruit pie?
Apple pie made by my best friend, Nikky. (It’s gluten-free)
Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
A bird (I was 5), a race car driver, a writer, a circus clown, a nun, a nanny, a cook and many more.
Do you believe in ghosts?
Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yes. And Deja-moo… I think I saw that cow before!
Take a vitamin daily?
When I remember to. Does that count as “no”?
Sometimes. But not usually.
Wear a bath robe?
Sometimes, but not usually.
What do you wear to bed?
Uhm, it was… some 80’s singer, I think. I can’t remember.
Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Wal-Mart or Costco
Nike or Adidas?
Cheetos Or Fritos?
Terra Sweet Potato Chips.
Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
I have now. Thanks.
Ever take dance lessons?
Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Police Officer… frisk me baby! I’ve been naughty! Where’s my handcuffs!?
Can you curl your tongue?
Ever won a spelling bee?
Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes, it was weird
Own any record albums?
Own a record player?
I don’t think so
Regularly burn incense?
Asthma attack, anyone?
Ever been in love?
Who would you like to see in concert?
No. Just no. I want to keep what hearing I have left.
What was the last concert you saw?
1812 Overture and Some orchestra in San Diego on the lawn.
Hot tea or cold tea?
None. Coffee will do.
Tea or coffee?
Sugar or snicker doodles?
WHAT? Where is chocolate chip? What kind of options are these???
Can you swim well?
Yes, very well.
Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Are you patient?
Sometimes. But not usually.
DJ or band, at a wedding?
DJ… I think. Can we have techno?
Ever won a contest?
Yes I did! ONCE
Ever have plastic surgery?
No. I am all me. Fluff, wrinkles, folds and all!
Which are better black or green olives?
Green with pimento.
Can you knit or crochet?
Both. But I am better at crochet.
Best room for a fireplace?
Do you want to get married?
I would have to meet the right person.
If married, how long have you been married?
19 years. We were together for 14 years. We’re separated now.
Who was your HS crush?
Didn’t have one.
Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Do you have kids?
Yes. three boys.
Do you want kids?
I already have kids. I can’t have anymore.
What’s your favorite color?
Avocado green, burnt orange and pee pee yellow.
Do you miss anyone right now?
Did you watch, Next Great American Band on FOX?
Never heard of it.
So, now that I had fun with that one… email me your questions for the next questionnaire that I will post in about a month. And thanks to K** for starting this